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APRIL 6, 2010

The week after our Ski Trip, our friend who worked as the Girl's summer nanny came to visit. So good to see Linsey and her son Vinny. They all went to Sea World and relived Summer 2006 enjoying the shows and laughing like sisters.

The last weekend in March, the Girls and I headed to Tijuana to work on another house building team. This was Maddie's 6th trip and Hannah's 3rd, both of them pounded nails to build walls, Maddie worked on finished up the roofing and helped stucco the building, Hannah always works at twice her size. Volunteer numbers are down but at least 1000 people were in the main camp by Monday evening from all over the US.

Easter Dinner was at our house and it is fun to hear Adult children, Katie and Andy, telling stories about when they were in high school to growing up in our home. I am not sure if Andy had more fun hiding the eggs or Maddie, Hannah and Audrey searching.

"The Cross of Christ is the revealed truth of God's judgment on sin. Never associate the idea of martyrdom with the Cross of Christ. It was the supreme triumph, and it shook the very foundations of hell. There is nothing in time or eternity more absolutely certain and irrefutable than what Jesus Christ accomplished on the Cros-- He made it possible for the entire human race to be brought back into a right-standing relationship with God. He made redemption the foundation of human life; that is, He made a way for every person to have fellowship with God." Oswald Chambers, April 6, My Utmost for His Highest. Kathie looks good and yesterday we meet with the ENT Doctor and he began the process of exams and paperwork to close the stoma or opening leftover from Kathie tracheostomy. She will be in the hospital for two days once the surgery is completed, I will let you know how this progresses. Thank you for the cards and visits to Kathie, your prayers for our strength are appreciated and necessary. She also received a very pretty new night gown.

Sunday night I was able to put my arms around Kathie and enjoy holding her while stroking her hair. I reminded her how beautiful she is.

Dave

MARCH 18, 2010

One of my favorite Oswald Chamber's writtings in My Utmost for His Highest, on March 6, Taking the Next Step... in much patience, in tribulations, in needs, in distresses -2 Corinthians 6:4

"When you have no vision from God, no enthusiasm left in your life, and no one watching and encouraging you, it requires the grace of Almighty God to take the next step in your devotion to Him, in the reading and studying of His Word, in your family life, or in your duty to Him. It takes much more of the grace of God, and a much greater awareness of drawing upon Him, to take that next step, than it does to preach the gospel.

Every Christian must experience the essence of the incarnation by bringing the next step down into flesh-and-blood reality and by working it out with his hands. We lose interest and give up when we have no vision, no encouragement, and no improvement, but only experience our everyday life with its trivial tasks. The thing that really testifies for God and for the people of God in the long run is steady perseverance, even when the work cannot be seen by others. And the only way to live an undefeated life is to live looking to God. Ask God to keep the eyes of your spirit open to the risen Christ, and it will be impossible for drudgery to discourage you. Never allow yourself to think that some tasks are beneath your dignity or too insignificant for you to do, and remind yourself of the example of Christ in John 13:1-17." Passages like this help me to renew my "everyday life" and "live an undefeated life."

Last weekend, Madison, Hannah and I traveled to Park City, UT to visit and ski with my brother Dan and his family. We had a wonderful mini-vacation and enjoyed our time together. We did a similar trip last year and Kathie ended up in the ER with a urinary tract infection the caused her blood pressure to drop very low. This year I enjoyed the fact that she is cared for in a smaller facility and I was confident in her care for the three days I would be away from her. I work to balance our lives and this was a good time of respite for everyone. Monday morning after our return home, Kathie had two doctors appointments and Tuesday she was fitted for a wheelchair (we started the wheelchair process in September). I requested and was granted a referral for Kathie to see an Ear, Nose and Throat Doctor (ENT) to handle the closing of her throat stoma (opening) leftover from her tracheostomy; we have an appointment in early April for evaluation. I am also pursuing a dental appointment for Kathie's loose tooth. By Tuesday afternoon, I was pleased with the progress in Kathie's care, so often no progress is evident to me. My parents visited Kathie on Sunday morning and as my Dad was talking to Kathie, he moved from one side of her wheelchair to another, she followed him with her eyes. We continue to wonder what she sees and hears but find a blessing in moments like this.

"Ask God to keep the eyes of your spirit open to the risen Christ, and it will be impossible for drudgery to discourage you."

Dave

FEBRUARY 27, 2010

Last Saturday morning, I arrived early to see Kathie; a staff member looked surprised but a CNA named Carmen said with a smile, "love doesn't know what time it is." Kathie and I had a good morning together. On Tuesday, an outing was planned for the Balboa Park Museums and I went with the group. I met Kathie and the bus at the Automotive Museum, a family friend volunteers there so he welcomed the group as they made their way around the displays. Last year a new display was unveiled about the old Plank Road between El Centro CA and Yuma AZ. My Grandfather was interviewed and recorded explaining about the wood road over the sand dunes and how my Great-grandfather had run a "stage service" between these two points. Last Thanksgiving my brothers were in town so we all took Grandpa and his great-grandchildren to the museum to listen to his interview. When I called told him that Kathie had now been able to hear the interview he was very happy.

On this type of trip, I learn to care for Kathie outside of the care facility. Pushing the wheelchair around sidewalk holes and up ramps, I really appreciate the time with her. The rest of the day included lunch (where I gave Kath a taste of soda) the sports museum Hall of Champions and the Aerospace Museum. As the bus arrived to transport the group, I had that feeling of someone leaving on a flight from the airport. I stood very close to Kathie and then I gave her a kiss, she sighed and made an exhale noise. Carmen, who was near us said, "I saw that, she loves you too." Yesterday Carmen's daughter had cancer surgery on her throat. I remembered Rosa in my prayers for healing and Carmen for strength. I continue to appreciate that God reminds me to pray outside myself for the many friends who each have their own struggles.

This morning I was early to see Kathie again, as always, I kiss her and tell her, "I love you," but according to Carmen, she already knows how much I love her. Kathie was very comfortable and relaxed as I left our visit.

Blessings,
Dave


FEBRUARY 18, 2010

The Saturday before Valentine's Day, I took Kathie outside in the sunshine and gave her a pedicure, painting her toenails pink. I was glad to be outdoors with her as she wore her floppy hat and sunglasses. We continue to wait for the hole to close from the tracheostomy, the hole is closed each day using Steri-Stripes but the skin and cartilage have not come together yet. We have an appointment in March to meet with her doctor again. Occasionally, she yawns aloud, a sound I enjoy hearing. I also spent time with my arm around her, letting her know how much I love her and yet miss her.

I continue to grow frustrated with my role as a single parent, because I cannot provide the advantages of two parents nor do I have the energy to offer Madison and Hannah, my own inabilities frustrate me. I have gone back in my memory to Kathie's stories as a single parent and continue to pray for strength as I support the Girls. I have learned to pray for other single parents I know in empathy.

Since January, I have been reading and praying Psalm 42, I wonder what my role is for this life. Each project to keep Kathie comfortable seems to become mired in trivial forms and paperwork, my parenting is a struggle, and I am not sure what God wants of me. Psalm 42:9 "I say to God my Rock, Why have you forgotten me?"

Each night I still read Psalms or Streams in the Desert along with My Utmost, from Streams in the Desert February 17: "Dear troubled one, have you been waiting for God to work during long nights and weary days, fearing you have been forgotten? Lift up your head and begin praising Him right now for the deliverance that is on its way to you."

I thank you for your prayers; I recognize that when I want to whine about my life, I have many friends who pray for Kathie daily, our family and my strength. I try though to share honestly about my daily walk and continue to count on God’s renewing strength.

"Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him, the help of my countenance and my God." Psalm 42:11

Blessings,
Dave

JANUARY 22, 2010

Two of my friends lost their wives to cancer in September, I have shared with them that the time between Halloween and New Years is a difficult emotional time and usually after New Year's Day, I breathe a sigh of relief, but this year the relief did not seem to come. The multiple projects with Kathie's, throat healing, wheelchair design and even a cable television request have all taking much longer than expected. I enjoyed the months of coaching girls' soccer but there are "costs" associated with this wonderful task. Our home repairs and remodeling are in the fourth month and the day-to-day tasks of single parenting have brought me down to an uncomfortable place of waiting and the feeling that I am not catching the tasks that fall through the cracks.

As Hannah's soccer season ended in the last two weeks, I returned to more consistency in my jogging routine. At the top of a small hill on my route is a traffic sign that states, "No Stopping Anytime." I smiled as I read it, I found a traffic sign that speaks to my daily grind and gives me direction. Last week, Madison, Hannah and I sat down to a meal at our dining room table, an event that has become unique rather than the norm. Madison described that dinner to my Mother with such excitement. I will need to refocus my efforts in this area.

Saturday I trimmed and painted Kathie's toenails, when the staff sees this they are reminded that I care about each detail of Kathie and they look closely. We watched her new television, including football games, while holding hands. Sometimes, I stroke her hair, telling her how pretty she is and how much she is missed. This month I purchased some new wrist and elbow braces to go with her knee brace. These braces help loosen contractures and increase joint flexibility. I also continue to work on her mouth muscles trying to help her relearn mouth breathing. Each Monday or Tuesday morning, a massage therapist continues to give her an hour massage, I do not visit that day because she sleeps very soundly afterwards.

Lamentations 3:24-26 NIV I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him." The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD.

I am glad the Lord is my portion; I will continue to wait for His direction,

Dave

JANUARY 8, 2010

Nehemiah 8:10 ...The joy of God is your strength!

After the rush to set up our Christmas Tree, we had a very nice Holiday. Andy spent Christmas Eve at our house and organized the Christmas Brunch when the rest of our family arrived, including omelets made to order.

Madison was very happy for the opportunity to sleep in during the school break. It was very odd for me to watch her drive off to the mall and shop for presents on her own.

Hannah is also one who enjoys sleeping in during her break. Her soccer all-star team participated in a tournament the weekend before Christmas and she has been enjoying her teammates.

I have been coaching Hannah's all-star team and likewise enjoy coaching the young ladies. Between shopping, construction and coaching there were many busy days leading up to Christmas. We continued our "Choose Joy" theme this year by consciously reminding ourselves of the reason for the Holiday. I visited Coronado Hospital before New Years to touch base with staff and patients that we have come to know. When Kathie moved out, I donated some of her old gowns to the Hospital, the young woman who was moved into Kathie's old bed was wearing one of the gowns when I visited, a reminder of disabled friends that spent another Christmas in the hospital. Another woman in her 20's who we befriended was photographed smiling, sounds strange but an amazing blessing to see.

The mall trip with Kathie is still my highlight for December,
Dave

DECEMBER 21, 2009

We are still not decorated for Christmas but our tree is up and we are moving closer to making the house feel less like a construction zone and more like Christmas. Hannah chose the largest tree she could find and we struggled it into our house, then Madison decided it would look better near the fireplace. We actually took it out of the tree stand and moved it into another room. We are qualifying for a sitcom television show.

We have seen some success with a new dynamic leg brace on Kathie's right leg that will help extend her leg at the knee joint. This is for her comfort and ease of transportation.

I was able to visit Kathie at lunchtime today; her throat stoma has not healed yet and is taking a painfully long time (five months). She seems to give me a half smile as I used a small spoon to stimulate her tongue. You might have noticed that whatever we undertake, we are in God's timing and His time is perfect but much too slow for me.

Television is in and working well but the cable company will not allow us to upgrade service without her facility permission, more waiting. Her wheelchair fitting that we started four months ago is still ongoing. A new hospital bed is in process but I have not had time to finalize the model. Your prayers for patience and persistence are appreciated.

October 30th, Streams in the Desert: "Let us run with patience," Hebrews 12:1. "Running with patience" is a very difficult think to do...

Blessings as we celebrate our Savior's birth, in God's perfect time,

Dave & Kathie Jones


DECEMBER 10, 2009

Our Christmas lights are up but our home is disjointed as we finish some interior repairs and painting. Because of the work, we have not decorated much for Christmas.

Tuesday, at lunch, I went to visit Kathie. I thought it was odd that she was in her bed sleeping so soundly then her nurse reminded me that she had just had her massage that morning. The one-hour massage is so relaxing that she goes into a deep sleep and I enjoyed watching her sleep knowing how comfortable she was at that moment.

After a lot of research, I purchased a television attached to a specialize extension arm (as you would see in a hospital) for Kath. It can be positioned in front of her as she lies in different positions and she seems to enjoy the stimulation. The next step is to add the cable music channels so sometimes just music can be played.

Today was a new first. Kathie and I went to the shopping mall for the first time in over 4-years. Her care facility was on a field trip to the North County Mall and I joined in. I was very nervous about how this would work out and there were plenty of looks and look-a-ways but overall it was a very wonder-full experience. An older man saw Kathie and I shopping, he made a point of touching her hand and saying "Merry Christmas." Then he looked at me and asked, "Can she hear me?" I told him, "I believe she can." He smiled and said to her, "God bless you this Christmas." I left her with the Group and I returned to work exhausted and enthused about the shopping trip with my wife.

Blessings,
Dave

NOVEMBER 24, 2009

Isaiah 25:1 O LORD, you are my God; I will exalt you and praise your name, for in perfect faithfulness you have done marvelous things, things planned long ago.

Madison and I looked at each other after reading this passage in Kathie's room. "Things planned long ago," holds a mysterious meaning when we look at Kathie. As Christians it is easy to recognize good things unfolding as a part of God's plan but when we cannot understand God's faithfulness, doing "marvelous things," we struggle.

Friday, I scheduled Kathie for a back massage, she is on her back most of the time, so putting her on her stomach is a change and this type of massage works many muscle groups. By the conclusion of the massage, her tight arms were relaxed and hanging off the table. Her nurses were amazed and happy to see such a change, I now have Kathie scheduled for weekly massages.

Last weekend, Hannah's soccer team finished in first place then won the final tournament. It was fun to see these young ladies work so hard and enjoy the accomplishment. Sunday was Kathie's Birthday and we filled her room with flower, friends and family stopped by to visit as well. I struggled to leave her room on Sunday night, watching her fall asleep, struggling with a difficult day.

I called my friend who has recently lost his wife to brain cancer, she and Kathie share the same birth date. I offered a few words of encouragement and empathy to a Christian Brother who was also having a difficult day. I thought of these words from a sermon, "You can see this as contrived circumstances or you can see this as the powerful intervention of God in circumstances to save His people." (Webster, Sermon: Ester).

Nov.16 Streams In The Desert, "Rise today to face the circumstances in which the providence of God has placed you."

Blessings in your Thanksgiving,

Dave

NOVEMBER 12, 2009

We experienced a few days off from home repairs and I have been enjoying the break. A few weeks ago, I was able to celebrate my Birthday sitting at Kathie's bedside in a couple of weeks I will celebrate her Birthday also.

In the last two weeks, we purchased a specialized leg brace for her right leg; we have waited many months to see this happen. As Kathie bends her right knee, say after a cough or sneeze, this brace puts pressure on the leg to help straighten it out. During her last doctor's visit, one of the few drugs she receives was increased. Baclofen is a muscle relaxer and an antispastic agent that also helps relax any tight muscles she has due to contratractions. Next week, I have scheduled her for a back massage. Most patients lie on their backs or sit in wheelchairs, placing Kathie on her stomach will allow her muscles and skin a brief period of stimulation and relaxation plus will just "feel good." The brace, medication and massage will continue my goal of keeping Kathie comfortable.

I have also researched and purchased a television on a "swing arm" for Kath. Regardless of what position she is laying in bed, the screen can be positioned in front of her and with cable music channels; she can listen to a variety of music. Last night I started playing a CD set of the Screwtape Letters by CS Lewis for her. Focus on the Family, Radio Theater recently created this set and I have added this to her audio book collection.

The hole created by her tracheostomy still has not closed and Monday I will meet with her general practice doctor to schedule a minor surgery. I continue to stimulate her tongue with spoons and a toothbrush as she learns to breathe through her mouth again.

Halloween marks the beginning of a season of special events, I have two friends who have lost their wives to cancer this Fall and they are now raising their children alone, this season is a difficult time. I recall trying to decorate and celebrate with my daughters when I really had no energy or desire to celebrate anything. I have made it my goal to pray for these men daily as they struggle just to make it though to New Year's. Choosing Joy became my motto during this time and I ask God to give them strength as they choose their direction. I thought of them while reading Steams in the Desert for October 30, "Let us run with patience," Hebrews 12:1.

Running "with patience" is a very difficult think to do...

...I know of something that suggests even greater strength, the power to continue working after a setback, the power to run with a heavy heart and the power to perform your daily tasks with deep sorrow in your spirit. This is a Christ-like thing!

Yet what is so difficult is that most of us are called to exercise our patience not in bed but in the open street, for all to see. Where we called upon to buy our sorrows not in restful inactivity but in active service... contributing to other people's (your children's) joy.

Blessings as each of us begin this Season,

Dave

OCTOBER 20, 2009

Over the last few weeks we have been under construction, the plans that Kathie and I made four years ago are finally coming to fruition. Before our accident, we had we had paid off bills and established a line of credit to redo our windows, repair rotting wood fascia and spruce up the outside of our home. Each day I return home from work is exciting as I watch the plans that she and I made become a reality.

Last week we hosted a "thank-you reception" for the staff at Sharp Coronado Hospital. Four years ago, Kathie began her stay at the Sub-acute units and we wanted to express our gratitude for the care she had received. I began thinking about this some time ago as I realized that each time we left a hospital, the staff members we had come to know, were not working that day. Last Thursday, the staff from all three sub-acute units joined us for lunch in an activity room. Kathie's roommate Maria and her family, the original Charge Nurses, the medical aid who monitored Kathie's breathing as we weaned her from the Trach, all joined us. Our friend who organized our wedding reception 17 years ago created a beautiful reception. Transportation was arranged for Kathie and each staff member greeted her, "hello Mrs. Jones, you look so good."

Kathie's tracheostomy has not quite closed, so this week I will be discussing the next course of action, possible a closing procedure. I am working with the staff at Care Meridian as they design a wheelchair with Madison and Hannah's impute on the color. We are very pleased with Kathie's care so much, so that I have to upgrade my standards for our home. The remodeling of our home could take nine months to offer the best care for Kathie at home. This is a huge task to integrate Kathie's needs, with the Girl's needs, into our home. As I study the details, I pray for wisdom and direction.

I have been very busy with construction decisions, working and coaching Hannah's soccer team this Fall but I still enjoy sitting with Kathie during lunch visits or Saturday evenings or with the Girls after church on Sundays. Some visits are harder than others are but she is still the prettiest girl in the world to me and I still tell her so as I kiss her goodbye.

Ecclesiastes 3:1 was the verse in Kathie's room today. "To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven."

"... a time to every purpose under the heaven, "
Dave

OCTOBER 1, 2009

Last week, Kathie and I attended a "field trip" sponsored by her care home, Care Meridian. The residents were transported to the San Diego Bay Ferry Landing; they boarded the Ferry and motored across the Bay to the Coronado Ferry Landing, where I met the group. I learned just how bumpy wooden docks could be when you are pushing a wheelchair; she was wide-eyed after my inexperienced driving. Kathie and I then left the group and traveled a few blocks to Sharp Coronado Hospital, her home for almost four years after the accident.

I had alerted the nursing staff, chaplain and of course Kathie's old roommate Maria who was thrilled to see us, that we were coming for a visit. We spent time at each of the three Sub-acute nursing units saying hello to the staff who did such a great job taking care of Kath. Then we sat with Maria and her caregiver Debbie (who monitored Kathie's breathing trials with me) talking and catching up. Before we left Sharp Coronado in August, I had spoken with the parents of a brain injured, 26 year-old man. They had watched my process of working to decannulate Kathie and we had spoken a couple of times about their wish to follow the same path. While we were visiting, I checked in on the young man and was amazed to see him sitting in a wheelchair and looking so alert, followed by hearing his verbal request for me to pull back the curtain a little more. I was not able to see his parents but I can only imagine how happy they are. Then it hit me that God had granted this family what I had prayed for Kath. My answer has been "not at this time." I was reminded of one of my Oswald Chamber's quotes: "Lord, I have had misgivings about you. I have not believed in your abilities, but only my own. And I have not believed in your almighty power apart from my finite understanding of it." Chambers 2/26

I took Kathie back to the Coronado Landing and wheeled her onto the Ferry, kissed her good-by and thanked the staff; she had a good ride back and slept very well that night.

The next night I had dinner with Madison and Hannah, giving them the details of Mom's Trip. I also told them the story of my first dinner date with their Mom. Kathie had dressed in a little black dress that "made my knees buckle." We rode the Ferry and landed at the Coronado Ferry Landing, had dinner at Peohe's, then walked around the Landing before riding the Ferry back. We duplicated that trip during an anniversary; this trip will hold different memories but also good memories.

"We are not made for the mountains, for sunrises, or for the other beautiful attractions in life--those are simply intended to be moments of inspiration. We are made for the valley and the ordinary things of life, and that is where we have to prove our stamina and strength. Yet our spiritual selfishness always wants repeated moments on the mountain. We feel that we could talk and live like perfect angels, if we could only stay on the mountaintop. Those times of exaltation are exceptional and they have their meaning in our life with God, but we must beware to prevent our spiritual selfishness from wanting to make them the only time." Chambers 10/1

Blessings,
Dave

SEPTEMBER 15, 2009

Labor Day Weekend will always be hard, I tried to bundle all my frustration onto the 5th but the nature of a 3-day weekend will just keep reminding me of the emptiness. On Saturday, while running errands, Madison drove me through the intersection of our accident, later I leaned my head against Kathie's between 5 and 6 pm, talking softly to her, I need to be next to her during the time of our accident. On Sunday, I watched Madison and Andy kiss their mother as we visited, each dealing with the anniversary. Hannah will whisper into her Mother’s ear and then quietly cry as we leave but that can be any day we visit, not just during Labor Day Weekend.

I remembered to pray for the peace of the Driver and occupants of the fire tanker truck. During his legal depositions, each man cried as he recounted the scene. I had lunch with our lawyers and asked, "What stands out to you in this case?" One of them recounts the pain he witnessed during those depositions.

This verse was in Kathie's room, Isaiah 55:12. "For you will go out with joy and be led forth with peace; the mountains and the hills will break forth into shouts of joy before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands." Continuing to live through such pain, I cling to the promise of a future joy for Kathie, our children and the men of the truck.

"Listen to me... you whom I have upheld since you were conceived, and have carried since your birth. Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you. To whom will you compare me or count me equal? To whom will you liken me that we may be compared?" Isaiah 46 3-5.

Thank you for your prayers for peace,
Dave

SEPTEMBER 4, 2009

Today marks Kathie's first full month at Care Meridian, I am very pleased at the care she is receiving. As my visit ended tonight, she was receiving a hydrotherapy bubble bath, her eyes were closed and her muscles were very relaxed. The opening leftover from the trach is continuing to slowly close.

Tomorrow will make four years since our accident. It is very easy to list the loss of these four years but the other day I was reading a devotional on "Declaring Victory before God" as Joshua declared before the Walls of Jericho. Not an easy declaration looking into Kathie's eyes but I recognized that God has made us victors in this accident. Today, this short term victory does not hold the healing for Kathie I want but we have the long term hope allows us to dream of the day we will embrace again.

Dave & Kathie

AUGUST 25, 2009

Before this faith came, we were held prisoners…, locked up until faith should be revealed. (Galatians 3:23)

I realize that I have not written since August 7.

The staff at Care Meridian have been working diligently to help close the stoma, or opening from the tracheostomy. Kathie continues to show great breathing strength while learning to breathe through her mouth and nose again. Breathing through the stoma is the path of least resistance so it has not healed or closed very quickly.

Kathie looks good, the staff likes to daily dress each resident so I am seeing Kathie in pants and shirts rather than gowns. I have also spent more time in the women's section of department stores sorting and buying clothes for Kath. Two weeks ago the staff was surprised to see me filing and painting Kathie's nails, she looks very pretty.

Last night I sat with her holding her hand in both of mine, stroking her arm. As she breathed, she made a soft sound. She smelled like the Japanese Cherry Blossom lotion I had bought her, it was an evening to miss her and be sad.

Saturday is our 17th Wedding Anniversary.
Dave & Kathie

AUGUST 7, 2009

On Tuesday afternoon, I was running late so when I arrived at Coronado, Kathie was on an ambulance gurney ready for transport, she looked as I walk up to her as if to say, "I've been waiting for you, now that you are with me, I am ready for this move." The transfer to Care Meridian went well; she seems very relaxed and comfortable the whole time. She received a whirlpool bath in the evening to loosen her muscles, help her relax and fall asleep.

With this site change, more changes occur; the new care facility wanted shirts and pants rather than the gowns Kathie has been wearing during the day. So I donated some of Kathie's gowns to Sharp Coronado patients, then Madison, Hannah and I went shopping. There is a steady, underlining stress that comes with shopping for Kath. Discussing what colors, fabrics or styles work the three of us sometimes sound like we are shopping for a gift rather than daily wear. Although not easy for Maddie and Hannah, they are a great help during a difficult, emotional task, they both like the new place. I ran into another store to make sure we had plenty of pretty smelling lotions for the top of her dresser. Hannah busily organized the dresser and put the clothes away as Madison sat next to Kathie holding her hand.

This afternoon, we have two new doctors to meet with, as we plan Kathie's future care.

"We do not know what God's compelling purpose is, but whatever happens, we must maintain our relationship with Him." Oswald Chambers, August 4, My Utmost for His Highest.

Dave

AUGUST 3, 2009

From Steams in the Desert: "I will turn all my mountains into roads. Isaiah 49:11. "...Claim by faith to be a partaker in the patience of Jesus and face your trial in Him. There is nothing in your life that distresses or concerns you that cannot become submissive to the highest purpose. Remember, they are God's mountains. He puts them there for a reason and we know He will never fail to keep His promise."

Kathie moved to her current room on November 5, 2008, tomorrow August 4, 2009, she will move to a private care facility, Care Meridian in Escondido.

Our family has expressed an overwhelming thanks to the staff of Sub-acute units 1-3, Villa and Coronado Hospital. In the coming months, we will return to Sharp Coronado to host a reception for a personal "thank you" as we have appreciated the care the staff has given Kathie and our entire family over the last 3 years and 10 months. Our move is with excitement and sadness, we came to Sub 2 in October 2005 very hurt, Noreen and Beth moved Kathie into her bed and tried to make me as comfortable as possible, the care for Kathie and our family has continued for a long time. They have shared in the most important care of our beloved Kathie, we are grateful.

"Hope makes patience possible because it gives us the confidence that our wait is not in vain. Hope believes that this God of love power and wisdom is on our side… If he moves quickly, it is for our good; if he moves slowly, it is for our good. No matter how things look to us, God is the complete master of the situation."
Ben Patterson, Waiting.

In the last two weeks, Madison turned 16 and Hannah received braces on her teeth. Both are enjoying their summer.

Blessings,
Dave & Kathie

JULY 21, 2009

"Trusting even when it appears you have been forsaken; praying when it seems your words are simply entering a vast expanse where no one hears and no voice answers; believing that God’s love is complete and that He is aware of your circumstances, even when your world seems to grind on as if setting its own direction and not caring for life or moving one inch in reasons to you petitions; desiring only what God’s hands have planned for you; waiting patiently while seemingly starving to death, with our only fear being that your faith might fail – "this is the victory that has overcome the world"; this is genuine faith indeed." Streams in the Desert, July 14.

Today marks 14 days since Kathie's trach was removed. As her advocate, these days have been extremely stressful. I watch her breathe, as I have done for over a year and a half, monitoring the saturation of oxygen, her heartbeats though a finger oximeter, staring at her face for any sign of distress or panic. She has been very sleepy, sometimes her eyebrows would furrow, as if she was in pain as she swallowed. Finally, last Friday, she looked good, her eyes were open, watching me as I moved around her chair, and she looked comfortable. As I kissed her good-bye at lunchtime, she seemed to give me that half smile I appreciate.

In the coming weeks, she will be moved to CareMeridian in Escondido. This private care facility will work more closely with her and teach me about caring for Kathie in a home setting. I estimate that she will be here for six to twelve months while we prepare to bring her home.

The quote above is not just something I pray for my family, I continue to pray for the many families who have come into our life, sharing their struggle. On July 14, in the middle of the night, I prayed for my friend with cancer, she is quite a Christian example to me.

"God's love is complete and that He is aware of our circumstances."
Dave

JULY 8, 2009

The verse in Kathie's room yesterday as I was capping her trach for the last time was Psalm 118:24 This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.

At 10:30 this morning, Kathie was returned to her room after a 24-hour stay in the ICU. During the decannulation of her Tracheostomy, she was monitored in the ICU. Other than a spike in her heart rate last night, she handled the procedure, as we hoped, no problems. She will be observed for the next three days then we start looking to our next move.

This process started in February 2008 with very skeptical medical professionals and has ended with Kathie looking relaxed and comfortable. We completed 139 trials with a capped trach, documenting 716 hours of her breathing. By the grace of God, our goal has been achieved.

"Let us rejoice and be glad in it,"
Dave

JULY 6, 2009

From Oswald Chambers, July 6 "The vision that God gives is not some unattainable castle in the sky, but a vision of what God wants you to be down here."

Saturday morning Hannah and I ran in our community Fourth of July events, Hannah completed 2 miles in 14 minutes, Maddie cheered us on, and I completed the 10k without embarrassing the girls, "Dad you weren't gagging or wheezing, we are so proud of you."

This morning I received word that Tuesday, tomorrow; Kathie will begin the process of decannulating or removal of her Tracheostomy. We have been waiting for approval and medical timing for this event for quite a while. Kath will be moved to ICU for 24 hours where they will monitor her progress. Your prayers for comfort and God's direction are appreciated. I will be with her early tomorrow morning then checking in throughout the process. The hospital staff is very excited that she is able to move forward.

From Jones Family Update, July 5, 2006 "Yesterday, the girls and I ran in our community fun run. As I ran with Madison, Hannah was ahead of us, I encouraged her (Madison) by reminding her that 10 months ago she was in a body cast... that statement is enough to cause all of us to stop and be thankful." Last week, Maddie completed a round-off back tuck, a gymnastic trick she had been working toward.

Blessings,
Dave

JUNE 25, 2009

"If we don't stop at the milestones and remember, if we don't celebrate and evaluate where we are on the road, we risk losing our connection to God and to one another." Chuck Swindoll, Milestone article.

Today marks 3 years, 5 months and 25 days since our accident. We are in the final stages of seeing Kathie's medical care trust fund. There are many new tasks I am now focused on regarding her future care. New billing company, new doctors, new facilities and final legal discussions. I recognized that I was reacting to these changes by already planning for the future... as if I know what the future holds. Chuck Swindoll's quote reminded to reconnect to God and to you. Much of what I have written documents how I have lived my life over these three and a half years, as a Christian man, husband and father. I have tried to share our family story honestly, successes and struggles. Some of you have prayed for our strength and peace since you heard of the accident, thank you for staying connected.

Although I have not quoted Oswald Chambers lately, I still read My Utmost for His Highest each evening as I end one day and prepare for the next. Here are parts of my reading last night:

June 25, Receiving Yourself in the Fires of Sorrow

. . . what shall I say? 'Father, save Me from this hour'? But for this purpose I came to this hour. 'Father, glorify Your name' - John 12:27-28

"... We say that there ought to be no sorrow, but there is sorrow, and we have to accept and receive ourselves in its fires. If we try to evade sorrow, refusing to deal with it, we are foolish. Sorrow is one of the biggest facts in life, and there is no use in saying it should not be. Sin, sorrow, and suffering are, and it is not for us to say that God has made a mistake in allowing them.

Sorrow removes a great deal of a person's shallowness, but it does not always make that person better. Suffering either gives me to myself or it destroys me. You cannot find or receive yourself through success, because you lose your head over pride. And you cannot receive yourself through the monotony of your daily life, because you give in to complaining. The only way to find yourself is in the fires of sorrow. Why it should be this way is immaterial. The fact is that it is true in the Scriptures and in human experience. You can always recognize who has been through the fires of sorrow and received himself, and you know that you can go to him in your moment of trouble and find that he has plenty of time for you. But if a person has not been through the fires of sorrow, he is apt to be contemptuous, having no respect or time for you, only turning you away. If you will receive yourself in the fires of sorrow, God will make you nourishment for other people."

Wednesday morning, I gave Kathie a long kiss as I was leaving; her lips were soft and responded to the touch of mine. God has still granted me "the love of my life" as I kissed my wife good-bye, telling her I would see her later.

May God be glorified in our sorrow... and may he bless you, as you have been "nourishment" for our family.
Dave & Kathie

JUNE 19, 2009

Early this morning this quote reminded me of the role of God... as our Father, “If God has chosen special trials for you to endure, be assured He has kept a very special place in His heart just for you.” L. B. Cowman, Streams in the Desert, June 19. I realize that God has gone through our trial with us, just as my Dad, and Mom, have been with us since our accident. They were at the hospital before we arrived.

I met with an admission nurse today for a private care facility, a residential house that cares for only six patients and the staff to patient ratio is very good. When Kathie's Medical Trust finally funds, this will be a good interim facility as we prepare to bring her home. An odd sense of excitement came over me as I sat next to Kath in the meeting, I realized that we could be close to elevating the level of care she receives and that does excite me.

This week I have been listening to a CD by Chuck Swindoll, Timely Reminders of Timeless Truths. He gives four main points to learn before a tough trial comes our way so that we are not shaken in our faith: 1. God is sovereign. 2. Look to the future, (God is not limited by my timeframe). 3. Don’t allow panic to eclipse trust. 4. Be willing to wait.

Happy Father’s Day,
Dave

JUNE 12, 2009

The verse in Kathie’s room yesterday was “Yes, LORD, walking in the way of your laws, we wait for you; your name and renown are the desire of our hearts.” Isaiah 26:8.

In the last few weeks, Maddie looked beautiful attending a Junior Prom with a friend from church, Hannah is signed up for another soccer season, I worked on Amor house building project in Tijuana, Maddie is behind the wheel, driving our truck, both girls start summer break next Monday at noon, the summer starts.

Last Tuesday I was disappointed when Kathie’s Medical Care Trust was due to fund and did not. The frustration stems from our plans to ultimately bring her home. In January of 2006, I met with a life-care planner and she asked, “Can you bring her home?” I quickly answered “no,” I did not even know how long Kathie might live, much less how we might care for her. After spending months thinking and praying about this, I met again with the life-care planner in June. In August, I spoke with Madison and Hannah about this idea. Maddie asked, “Could I still have friends’ sleepover?” A great question, asking how friends might visit while Kathie is cared for at home. Over the last three years, I have read books on this subject, spoken with architects, builders, nurses and real estate friends. A few months ago, during one of our Sunday visits, Maddie said, “I look forward to bringing Mom home.” She does not realize what this all means but she does realize that we will have the financial and physical ability to care for her Mother at home. I anticipate that it will take about a year to remodel our home or purchase a different house so each time the Trust is delayed; I see a longer wait for Kathie to come home.

As school ends, I again reflect on the first summer after our accident when Maddie cried on my shoulder knowing that summer is Kathie’s favorite time of year. She loved spending the days with the girls. I have been feeling depressed in the midst of busy weeks, a telephone call this week reminded me that a prayer group at church prays for Kathie and our family. Some weeks are just harder than others. I rubbed Kathie’s neck today at lunch and told her how beautiful she looks, kissing her forehead. The verses or quotes I use are not flippantly written, I rely on each word to have the strength to get out of bed and make school lunches for the girls. The smile on my face is possible only because I have faith in Romans 8:28.

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

“We wait for you,”
Dave & Kathie

JUNE 3, 2009

Last Friday evening, I spoke with a doctor who specializes in Physical Medicine, he has examined Kathie as part of a “Life Care Plan” on two other occasions, I was impressed with his suggestions and I asked him if he would take Kathie as a patient. As I line up the health insurance he accepts, I am genuinely excited about the care he can dictate for Kath.

This morning I brushed her teeth, combed her hair and cleaned her ears, all things I have written about in the past but need to continually be done. She was sleepy this morning and did not like that I was trying to brush her teeth. Her jaws are much more relaxed and I use a small spoon along her tongue to stimulate movement. Memorial Day, I played a DVD of “Cat on a Hot Tin Roof” for her.

I am looking at moving our update site to Caringbridge.org where I have prayed for others, I will let you know when that move happens and provide a link. I never thought we would continue to receive so much interest in our walk nor did I think I would be still writing to you. God has used many people through this site to encourage us and we appreciate you.

I was awake at 3 am this morning so I picked up God’s Prayer Book on praying the Psalms by Ben Patterson. Psalm 31: 5, 7, 15 and 24: “I entrust my spirit into your hands,” Luke records these as the last words of Christ. Verse 7, “I will be glad and rejoice in your unfailing love, for you have seen my troubles, and you care about the anguish of my soul. Then verse 15, “My future is in your hands…” Finally, verse 24, “So be strong and courageous, all you who put your hope in the Lord.” I returned to sleep praying these words.

Thank you for your prayers for strength, Friday marks 3 years and nine months since our accident.
Dave & Kathie

MAY 22, 2009

Kathie and I sat in the patio during lunchtime today; I had placed sunglasses on her even though we were sitting in the shade. After massaging her neck and shoulders, I removed the glassed and smiled as her eyes were half-open and she looked so relaxed. When we returned to her room, her green eyes were fully open and she watched me hang up her gowns as I moved around the room. At these times, it can be very difficult to leave her, she seems to look right into me, then she surprised the medical aid and I with a high pitched sound. I stood starring at her and she went on looking at me with a half smile. After that, I didn’t feel as anxious about leaving, I would miss her but the unique sound and smile were somewhat reassuring.

I look forward to spending some time with her this long weekend.
Dave

MAY 18, 2009

A question I often receive is, “what is happening with the girls?” Hannah was away at Girl Scout camp last weekend with her friends; she does well in school and is counting the weeks until school is out. Madison drove me to the mall last weekend… repeating, Madison drove me to the mall last weekend. She excels in English Class but is currently counting down the days until Summer Break arrives. They are doing well and I am proud of them. Kathie used to say with a smile, "Maddie looks like me but acts like you and Hannah looks like you but acts like me."

Saturday evening, I had a very difficult time leaving Kathie’s bedside; she was wide-awake and looking at me with big eyes as I said, “good-bye.” Leaving her even when I am tired and ready to go home is very difficult, I walk into the hall and then back to her bed.. That evening I read a devotional passage about “holding on to faith during trials,” tired tears rolled down my cheek.

I visited Kathie at lunchtime today, we went outside to sit in the shade where I massaged her feet and talked to her, telling how pretty she looks. The verse in her room today is Job 23:10. “But he knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold.” Some times, it is exhausting to read a verse like this and then look at her, and then re-read the verse. I don’t have an explanation and many times, I can just kiss her forehead and say, “I love you.” “He knows the way,,, that I take,” are words we believe but these words are hard to understand, even in faith.

This week I am meeting with a doctor to look at Kathie’s future care and I’m even hopeful that her medical care trust will be funded in the next four weeks. I would appreciate your prayers along that line.

Dave

MAY 8, 2009

I have been re-reading a book given to me at the time of our accident, God is in Control by Charles Stanley. In the section on Unshakable Peace, Philippians 4:5-7 is quoted:

“Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Followed by my reading of Oswald Chambers today:

“… Faith is not some weak and pitiful emotion, but is strong and vigorous confidence built on the fact that God is holy love. And even though you cannot see Him right now and cannot understand what He is doing, you know Him. Disaster occurs in your life when you lack the mental composure that comes from establishing yourself on the eternal truth that God is holy love. Faith is the supreme effort of your life— throwing yourself with abandon and total confidence upon God.”

During lunchtime Tuesday and again today, Kathie and I sat on the hospital patio. I brushed her teeth then massaged her neck and then her toe